Reminiscing about Roses and Birthdays
by Siriusgirl1
Summary: [oneshot] One evening, Kurei gazes out into the gardens of the mansion he is supposed to call his 'home' reminiscing about the past against his will, not understanding what a special day it is.


**A/N**

Hallo! This is just a one-shot that I thought of when the love of 'Recca no Honou' came back to me (where it had been during the past year and a half I have NO idea!). Heh, anyways, this _is_ my first fic in Flame of Recca fandom, so I hope it turns out well. If it doesn't, I apologize here, and promise to improve whatever I do next.

This is a one-shot about Kurei (my favourite character!) and…it contains a bit of his relationship with Kurenai. Now, I don't know how long the two of them were together, and I _do_ know that this whole 'birthday' thing was something that I made up, so don't get alarmed if things don't seem right.

Anyways, that's about it; I hope it's good!

**Disclaimer: **If I owned _Recca no Honou_, Kurenai would still be alive, Mori Koran would have died a LONG time ago, and Kurei wouldn't have been tormented to the extent to which he was tormented. Heh, basically, it's _not_ mine. Nothing's mine, so don't sue me, OK? (if you do decide to sue me, you'll have to deal with Kurei)

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**Reminiscing About Roses and Birthdays:**

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From the way the man was standing, with his back towards the door, one would never guess that there was something wrong with him. Or rather, one would never guess that he was…unusual; that he had something in him that others didn't; that he had been through what others can't even _imagine_; that he was colder and more disastrous than the Ice-Age that had ruled the Earth many, _many_ years ago. How could you tell of this when all you could see of him was a piece of red clothing and black-hair? And when he was just gazing out of the large window, ignoring the soft glare of the dying sun? When the thing that had captured his attention was the patch of red-roses that were thriving in the garden, the sun's dying rays giving them a rather pleasant glow?

He stared pensively through the glass-panes, his deep-blue eyes fixed intently on the flowers that had captured his attention. The mask he wore on his face was reflected on the glass-panes, giving him a rather eerie appearance as all that could be seen of his face were his eyes and his lips. To him, the mask was a barrier…a barrier that protected him from unnecessary harm; a barrier that protected the world from him.

_# Kurenai #_

A particularly strong gust of wind seemed to have blown across the garden, as lose petals of the roses were blown about, swirling, before they landed in various places on the grounds. Unthinkingly, he opened the large window, telling himself that it was to enjoy the cooling breeze, when he unconsciously reached forward with his palm open. One of the swirling rose petals swirled around his opened palm for a moment, before finally resting on it. Its' touch was soft and feathery…if he were to so much as take the slender thing in between his fingers, he was sure that he would end up shredding it apart; it was _that_ delicate.

_# Soft and delicate like Kurenai #_

He drew his palm towards him and was reaching out to take the petal with his other hand, when another gust of wind blew it away from his palm. Startled, he watched as it seemed to struggle to stay in the haven of his palm, before finally being forced to give up and allowing itself to be blown away…to some location outside the window. Not knowing why he was doing this, he reached out again and managed to attract another swirling petal into his palm. When he reached out to take that petal, it too was blown away from him. It was as though he was being mocked; he could have that soft, delicate thing with him for a brief moment, before it was grabbed away…by the wind.

_# Just like how Kurenai was here for a brief moment…before being grabbed away, but, in her case, not by the wind #_

Temporarily giving up on his quest, he gazed into the sky as he felt a few warm rays of the fading sun reach him, warming up his skin ever-so-slightly. The sky resembled an abstract painting with bits of red, yellow, orange, light pink and grey all mixed together. It seemed as though each colour represented something different…and that all of them together represented something else.

_# It's like someone's emotions. Like my emotions; all mixed up like an abstract painting #_

His eyes rested on the roses that had started to look warm and…alive almost, as a result of the additional lighting they received from the sun. He had always thought that roses were weak; they needed so much attention when they were being grown, and even after they had bloomed, they still required a large amount of attention. If they were neglected, they would begin to fade away and die…and yet if they weren't, they would continue to bloom. The flowers were weak, and yet they had their means of protecting themselves. The thorns cleverly grown on their stems clearly proved that. It was amazing how something so fragile could prick you…and then grow on you to the extent that the mere _sight_ of them makes a person smile.

_# The way Kurenai made me smile whenever I saw her, with the usual bright smile on her face #_

Somewhere from within the study he was in, a book dropped, breaking the silence and disrupting the whole scene. The black-haired, masked man shook his head hurriedly, frowning at himself. Was he actually becoming _sentimental?_ He laughed bitterly. The _last_ time he had been sentimental, it had resulted in the cruel death of an innocent person. It seemed as though he hadn't learnt a lesson from that. He banished from his head the image of the brown-haired girl who had been dear to him. He would _not_ dwell on this now; especially when he had other things to take care of. Besides, why was he suddenly thinking about the past _now_? He hadn't felt this…nostalgic in a _long_ time.

Following his instinct, he turned his head slightly to stare at the calendar that hung in the study. He was able to make out the date and the month, and he frowned, unable to think of what was so special about – his deep-blue eyes widened slightly from behind the mask he wore. The _date_ and the _month_…

The memory of exactly four years ago when Kurenai had still been alive crept into his mind, making him tense up for a while. When he and Kurenai had been talking to each other one day, the topic of 'birthdays' had somehow been brought up; and she had discovered that he didn't know when his birthday was. She had been shocked – although he hadn't really understood why – and had decided on a date for his birthday. She had made it up, saying that from that day onwards, he should think of that day as his birthday. She had even said that she would _make_ sure that he celebrated his new birthday…but she had unfortunately…died a week before she could do as she promised.

Snapping out of the memory, he turned away from the calendar, and turned back to the opened window. He stared at the roses, a small smile forming unwittingly on his face. _So…this was his supposed 'birthday' was it?_ The sky, he noticed, was getting darker by the minute now and as a result, the winds were getting colder.

_# Kurenai, you lied to me that day. You said that you would always make sure that I celebrate my 'birthday'…where have you been for the past five years, Kurenai? #_

The lump in his throat felt odd and alien to him, and he swallowed, clearing his throat hurriedly. It wouldn't do for him to get _soft_. It was that softness that had caused him such a load of trouble in the first place. He raised his head when he felt the familiar presence from the other side of the door, outside his study.

"Yes?" he called out, mentally horrified at the weakened sound of his voice. He heard the door open, but didn't hear it close.

"Kurei-sama," said the familiar voice, softly and yet cheerfully as usual. He nodded, not bothering to turn around – or rather, unable to tear his gaze away from the sight of the now black-looking roses.

"What is it Raiha?" he asked, gaining a bit more control of his voice.

"Kurei-sama, I don't know whether you realized this or not," said Raiha, smiling at the back of his master's head, "but today is…an important day for you." He refrained from saying 'special' as, having known the man long enough he knew that he would disregard anything that was called 'special' as being an example of emotional weakness. Being the observant man that he was, he also sensed the ever so brief change in the mask-clad man's life-force.

"…And?" asked Kurei, although his eyes were widening a little.

"And we – " as he said this, Kurei sensed the life-forces of two other familiar people enter the study, " – that is to say, Neon, Joker and I want you to remember the importance of this day," finished Raiha, sensing the flicker in his master's life force again. Encouraged, he nodded at Joker and Neon.

"He's right, Kurei-han," said Joker, lightly as usual, "it's about time that you did something…_fun_, don't you think?"

"Kurei-sama, we know that you probably don't want to be reminded of this," said Neon, glancing at Raiha for help. Shooting her a half-exasperated look, Raiha continued.

"You may think that your existence is not worth any recognition, Kurei-sama, but we feel differently," he said. He reached into his tunic and pulled out a rather crumpled and aged envelope. "And so, it appears, did Kurenai-sama." Kurei stiffened and half turned around in time to see Raiha walk over to his desk and place the envelope on it. He scowled as he saw Raiha's 'knowing' smile.

"In _other_ words Kurei-han, since Raiha-han seems love taking a long time to state things," said Joker, intervening before Raiha could dawdle on any more explanations, "We just want to say, '_happy birthday."_ Kurei couldn't stop his blue-eyes from widening as Neon smiled at him as well.

"Happy birthday," she said, softly. He let his gaze rest on Raiha, who had an almost goofy smile on his face. He knew immediately how Neon and Joker had found out about his 'birthday.'

"Happy birthday," he said, "Kurei-sama." Kurei stared at the three of them, although his mind and his thoughts were far away. He didn't even notice that his loyal followers had turned around and walked quietly out of the room, pleased at their success. When he did notice that they were gone, he turned his attention to the envelope on the desk, and, unable to resist, walked briskly towards it.

The colour of the envelope indicated his age, and his curiosity grew. Turning it around, he opened the envelope and tipped its contents on to his desk. He was surprised when a small card fell onto his desk, along with a small packet of some kind. Reaching for the card, he opened it with shaking hands much to his surprise. The first thing that he saw was a pressed rose, now really old. The strong red colour that the rose had once been, was now faded as the years had taken their toll on it. Written opposite the rose, were the words '_To my darling Kurei' _and in the middle of the card, it said '_Happy 'new' Birthday!'_ He gulped when he saw the bottom of the card. '_Lots of love; Kurenai.'_ His face paled behind the mask he wore as he recognized the handwriting and as he took in the full meaning of the card. The date on the card was five years ago – that meant that Kurenai had…meant to –

Seeing the 'P.S' written beneath the pressed rose, he turned his attention to it, and saw that it said; '_You may wonder what the packet of Rose-seeds is for, so let me tell you; it's for you to select a section of the garden that you want, and to grow these roses there. If you can manage to make them bloom, you would really have managed to do something special as roses don't bloom for just anyone. I hope you like it! Love, Kurenai.'_

With his other hand, he picked up the packet that had fallen onto his desk from the envelope. So _that_ was what it was. He couldn't help but sigh. The present was the kind of thing he should have expected from Kurenai; she had always thought that caring for weaker people showed just how strong the so-called stronger people were. He couldn't believe that she actually thought that he would grow the roses…but that was Kurenai; always giving people the benefit of the doubt. Looking at the two objects he held in his hands – the card and the packet of seeds – he turned to look at the roses outside.

Due to the darkening of the sky, the roses now appeared rather dark – almost black. A particularly cool gust of wind blew into the study through the opened windows, rustling the bits and pieces of paper in his study and ruffling his hair. And then he did the impossible. He smiled. It was a weak, somewhat sad smile…but it was a smile nonetheless…a smile that was hidden behind his mask.

_# Arigato…Kurenai #_

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**A/N**

Something tells me that I didn't get across the effect or the idea that I wanted to get across. Ooops. Heh, oh well. I can only hope to do better next time.

Reviews would be greatly welcome!

Siriusgirl1


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